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Character Education: The Foundation for All Learning However, if these efforts only focus on the transfer of knowledge and increased learning, it is not sufficient, for knowledge is only a tool. It is the character of the child that determines how this tool will be used. Two individuals receiving the same computer science degree from the same institution might use their knowledge in different ways. One might become a scientist at a medical research laboratory and help find the cure for a disease while the other might become a computer hacker and invent a virus that costs millions of dollars to governments and cause much trouble for all of us. What is the difference between these two individuals? While the knowledge transferred to both is the same, it is the inner character that decides whether one will use his knowledge to be of service to his family and society or to be the cause of much hardship to others. If we desire the future happiness and success of our children, if we yearn for a better society, a kinder, more peaceful, and a more honest world, we must ensure that material learning is founded on a sound character. In our kindergartens, we must implement systematic programs through which the child’s human qualities such as love, justice, responsibility and service find an opportunity to develop and flourish. These human virtues are the most important elements for our children’s success in their academic endeavors, future career and family life. They are also the surest foundation for building a better world.
Practical Steps for Development of a Character Education Program With this understanding, the next step is to determine what defines “the right” thing to do. Whose values do we adopt to be “the right thing”? Is it the Chinese culture, the western way or a combination? Globalization is the reality of our age. Our children will need to work and live peacefully with people of different cultures. In such a diverse environment, cultural values of the East or the West may no longer present a clear standard. We need to rely on a universal standard which is accepted and shared by all cultures. Close examination and research by experts in the field, has determined that Virtues provide such a common standard of character. These qualities such as kindness, respect and generosity are revered by all cultures, for they are “human” qualities not Chinese or Western values. They are ancient and have existed in all cultures including that of China. Lao Tsu said: Cultivate Virtue in yourself, and virtue will be real. Cultivate Virtue in the family, and Virtue will flourish. Cultivate Virtue in the village, and Virtue will spread. Therefore, we can define the ultimate goal of character education to be: This objective cannot be simply achieved by developing a text book and instructing a series of lessons on the virtues. In order to awaken and strengthen the virtues, we need to take a holistic approach. We need to create a “virtues conscious environment” where virtues are at the foundation of all our endeavors. In order to achieve this, specific action in required in the following four areas: 1. Setting up the kindergarten’s physical environment in such a way to help develop and emphasize the virtues in children
Setting Up a Virtuous Kindergarten Environment
Teacher Training
Parent Training
The ‘Virtues in Us’ Character Education Program
Figure 1. The Theme Overview page from The Virtues in Us Kindness Lesson Plan
The program offers lessons in 19 age appropriate virtues. These virtues are: Cleanliness, Courtesy, Gentleness, Responsibility, Truthfulness, Helpfulness, Unity, Patience, Generosity, Obedience, Joyfulness, Kindness, Courage, Peacefulness, Love, Friendliness, Thankfulness, Compassion and Service. The individual lessons are presented regularly each day to children for 10-15 minutes. Day 1. Developing understanding : Using visual aids and conversation questions, children are introduced to the concept of the virtue being studied. Day 2. Memorization of a quotation: Children are assisted to memorize a relevant quotation to help in the retention of the name and the concept of the virtue. Day 3. Playing a game: Through game and fun activities, children come to personally experience the concept of the virtue and feel the impact of practicing the virtue on themselves. Day 4. Reading from the Virtues in Action books: Through real life photographs and short texts, the Virtues in Action books are designed to introduce behaviors resulting from the practice of virtues. Reading these books to children also helps develop specific relevant language skills needed for the practice of each virtue. Day 5. Classified Cards: Classified cards activity isolate a picture of a child practicing virtuous behavior, and allows for discussion and role play among children. Day 6. Song: Specially written or selected songs that carry the message of the virtue are taught to children to create a joyful atmosphere and help in the long term retention of the taught concepts. Day 7. Quiz game: Reflection questions are presented to the children in a game to assist them in understanding the application of the virtue in their own lives. Day 8. Art activity: A creative yet simple art activity is done by children to reinforce the theme of the lesson or the quotation they have memorized. Day 9. Free Sketching Activity: Children are invited to create on paper a drawing that describes their own understanding of the virtue. This creative activity helps the child to reflect on his understanding of both the concept and application of the virtue. Day 10. Consolidation of Learning: To consolidate all the learning received in the nine previous days, the memorized quotation and song are reviewed and a favorite story is retold. Also, children are invited to verbally describe their creative work to the group to further deepen their active understanding of the virtue and encourage the use of the related language.
The ‘Virtues in Us’ Materials
The ‘Virtues in Us’ Teacher Training Workshop
Figure 3 and 4 show some of the participants and the graduates of the latest ‘Virtues in Us’ Teacher Training Workshop held in August 2006. Teachers from Beijing, Dalian and Xian participated in this training. The graduates have already begun the implementation of the Virtues in Us program in their respective schools.
Figure 3: Virtues in Us Teacher Training Workshop held in August 2006
Experience to Date
Summary Kindergartens intending to implement a character education program need to create a ‘virtuous conscience environment’, train the teachers and parents in virtues development strategies, and adopt a systematic character education curriculum. The ‘Virtues in Us’ Character Education Program developed by The Children’s Virtues development Project (CDVP) offers an effective, systematic yet simple curriculum complete with lesson plans, audio visual aids and specially designed resource materials for each virtue. CVDP also offers teacher training workshops twice a year and supports its trained teachers through school observations, feedback sessions and online/phone support. Experience shows that once kindergartens receive the appropriate training and acquire systematic character education materials, they are empowered to implement an effective character education program. In these kindergartens, children are inspired to practice the virtues in their daily life. Families are aware of the virtues and are supportive of the school’s efforts in this area. A Strong sense of unity develops between home and the school and overall, the home and family atmosphere become more joyful and peaceful. At the Children’s Virtues Development Project, it is our honor to humbly offer the ‘Virtues in Us’ Character Education Program to all kindergartens to assist them with this most noble service to mankind, the bringing up of a new generation, a new race of humanity.
“At the heart of meaning –at the core of why we do things – there is always a virtue” Two year old Sophia was trying to exercise her budding independence in everything she did including dressing up. It was 11:30 and her mom, Debbie, needed to leave home in time for her appointment. Sophia had successfully put on her pants and her T-shirt. She was in the process of putting on her running shoes when accidentally, she pulled on the wrong side and caused the Velcro tab to slip out of the hole. Having observed this mishap, she then set out to push the tab through the hole again; trying very hard to control the muscles of her little hands to both aim at the right place and push at the same time. It was a challenging endeavor! After a couple of tries, her frustrations mounted and resulted in a big scream of disappointment and the shoe flying across the hallway. Her mother, pressured by the time and anticipating possible traffic problems, reached out for the fallen shoe, quickly and capably put the tab through the hole, slipped it on Sophia’s foot, fastened the Velcro, and triumphantly announced: “There! It is easy, no need to scream… Let’s go!”. In Debbie’s mind, the job of getting ready was done and the goal of getting out of the house on time was achieved. But, that was Debbie’s goal. What was Sophia’s? What did Sophia learn from this event? She may have been asking herself: “If doing my shoes was an easy job, what is wrong with me that I cannot do it?”, “Why did I need to try anyway?” It is often much faster and easier for us as adults to do something for our children than stand aside and watch them try and get frustrated. In our love for them or maybe due to our hurried life, we rather do it ourselves as they passively watch. While doing things for a cute toddler may not be a big deal to a loving parent, rushing to help a child accomplish a task that they are capable of doing themselves is not in their best interest. The obvious result is that the child may be delayed in their learning of a specific skill. However, the child is also deprived of a greater opportunity, that of sharpening his/her character qualities. According to the authors of The Family Virtues Guide, difficulties and successes are both opportunities for us to develop character in our children. They are ‘Teachable Moments’. These are valuable moments in which children can be helped to master their virtues and to understand the meaning of what they are doing and learning. In struggling with the velcro tab, little Sophia was having an opportunity to develop patience, perseverance, and determination. Instead of taking this opportunity away from her, Debbie could recognize Sophia’s ‘Teachable Moment’, by acknowledging her efforts and saying: “ putting the tab in the hole takes a lot of patience and perseverance. Let’s get your shoe and you can try again.” Success is glorified so much in our society that if not achieved, efforts towards a goal can be neglected and the process pronounced meaningless. However, often, challenging experiences, disappointments and so called failures in our lives have also brought us great growth and development. Our responsibility, forgiveness and determination have grown when we have owned up to our mistake, and then made it right. Our courage has grown when we were afraid and ‘did it anyway’. Helping children to look and recognize the Teachable Moments in their experiences helps them lead fuller and happier lives. It gives them courage to try new things, the patience to tackle difficult tasks, and the self-confidence to persevere when the going gets tough. Practical Suggestions: Look for and recognize the Teachable Moments in your own experiences. Ask “What virtues do I need to face this challenge?”, “What have I learned from this?” Acknowledge development in your virtues at the end of each day even when the day feels like “a failure”. Celebrate children’s successes in developing virtues as much as you might celebrate their mastery of a skill. Be especially on the watch for signs of development in a challenging virtue. For example, when a child who usually has problems with self-discipline and interrupts you too much has a less disruptive day, encourage her by saying: “I noticed your self-discipline today, you were attentive while I was speaking.” Children love to receive little notes which tells them that they are growing their virtues. Naming of the virtues muscle they are exercising helps children to identify success with the process of developing their character not only the goal of mastering a skill. Be a teacher not a preacher. Do not use the virtues to moralize and shame the child by saying “Why can’t you be more tidy?” Instead, call them to their virtue by asking “What will help you keep your room/desk more tidy?” Use virtues not labels. Instead of labeling a child/student ‘shy’ and advising him “Don’t be shy.”, acknowledge his peacefulness and obedience. Then call him to his less developed virtues of assertiveness and confidence by saying “Please be assertive and let me know which activity you would like to participate in.” Ask virtues oriented questions to help the child understand the deeper personal meaning of the events. E.g., while reading a story or watching a movie, ask “What virtue does Peter need to call on?”, “What do you think gave Sarah the courage to do what she did?”, “What character strengths does the main character show.” You can find more information on this topic and other parenting strategies in Family Virtues Guide by Linda and Dan Popov. By Shiva Yan, The Children’s Virtues Development Project
In today’s fast paced and busy world, the parent and child relationship is constantly challenged by authority issues. Many parents feel hesitant about using authority and are fearful of “doing it wrong” and damaging the psyche of the child. Yet, a lack of clear family boundaries creates a climate of constant arguing and power struggles. What is a parent to do? Children crave clear boundaries; without them the world is just too overwhelming. Younger children also crave predictable routines and rituals. By keeping consistent wake-up, meal, and bedtime routines children can recognize and predict the next step. They thrive in an ordered world. Establishing family ground rules is perhaps the most important way to keep children feeling safe, both physically and emotionally. Having a clear idea of expectations gives children simple, livable ways to make choices. Their success in keeping the boundaries leads to feelings of trustworthiness and love. Family ground rules are a wonderful source of order and unity. Simple Steps For Setting Family Ground Rules Involve the children. As a family discuss the core vision or mission of your family. Ask the children to participate by helping to shape the rules and the consequences of breaking them. This will help give them a firm understanding of what the ground rules are and how they apply to their daily routines. Choose a few virtues such as peacefulness, cleanliness, respect and responsibility, which characterize the kind of family you want to be. Be clear about your ground rules by posting them somewhere, such as the refrigerator, where the whole family can see them. Be moderate. Choose 4 – 6 ground rules that are most important to your family at any one time. Focus on an area of “teach-ability” that matters most at this time. Remember that ground rules can be revised and adjusted as your children grow older and your family circumstances change. Be specific and be positive. Create ground rules that meet the specific needs of your family. For example you may choose a core value of Peacefulness and create the following boundary: Our home is a peaceful place. We work out conflict by listening with compassion and talking with honesty. We use our voices, not our hands. Using positive language helps to encourage positive behaviour. Set natural consequences. Always remember the purpose of the ground rules is to call your children to the core value or virtue, like Peacefulness. In the event that a ground rule is broken use natural, relevant consequences. For example if you forget to be peaceful and hit another child you must stop playing and take a time out. This should be a time to re-establish the missing virtue, Peacefulness, by providing an opportunity to practice this skill. Before the child resumes play ask them “What happened? and invite the child to come up with a way to make things right with the other person. Be consistent, be consistent, and be consistent! Recognize that children will test the boundaries, forget the ground rules or just have a bad day. Regardless of the reason for the lapse, trustworthiness requires that the consequences be enforced automatically – justice will prevail and your children will learn that the ground rules are real. When children know that rules are trustworthy, they begin to develop their inner authority, a sense that rules are important and will keep them safe. More information about this and other valuable tips for setting boundaries can be found in “The Family Virtues Guide” by Linda Kavelin Popov. By Terrence Millie, Vice Principle of The Family Learning House.
“A child, at birth, is a candidate for humanity; it cannot become human in isolation.” – Henri Pieron. With every generation of children, we are given the opportunity to support the moral advancement of humanity. Children are born with a sense of wonder, exploring and learning all they can about their time, culture and place. As adults we have the opportunity to guide our children in this construction of themselves – assisting them to be the noblest people they can be. By recognizing all of the qualities of good moral character in each child, parents can prepare themselves for the task of refining these virtues. Parents guide children in many ways: sharing their knowledge, wisdom, skills and stories. Allowing children to participate in meaningful activities and gently guiding them to master their own skills takes time and patience. Allowing your child to help in the preparation of a meal, or giving them a task to complete in your workshop is a way of recognizing the child’s ability to contribute to your family life. The language of the virtues can be woven throughout these experiences by acknowledging your child for their perseverance, courage and determination as they practice and refine these new skills. In giving your children the freedom to explore their talents and abilities, you are honoring their spirit – their creativity, purposefulness and excellence. The sharing of stories about your family and yourself awakens a child’s sense of meaning. Knowing the virtues that are special about your family – Uncle Pete’s sense of humor or grandmother’s courage – brings a sense of family honor to life. You can also deeply listen to your children as they tell stories or dreams of their own, recognizing their growing understanding of how the virtues are at work in their life. Dinner together is an excellent time to have each family member share the story of their day; uncovering the virtues involved and how each event had its own unique teachable moments. Another way to honor the child is to spend time with them in nature. Sharing time observing animals, insects and plants are great ways to get in touch with nature and deepen your relationship with your children. Go hiking, start a herb garden or simply take time to watch the clouds. Allow this to be a time of silent reflection inspiring creativity and excellence and respecting the orderliness of the natural world. Keep a nature journal of observations you make during your nature excursions and use the journal as inspiration for other creative activities. Involve children in the arts. Creativity is an aspect of our children’s lives that often gets abbreviated by a parental ambition for academic success. Allowing children to attend art exhibitions, theatre performances, or music and dance events inspires their sense of creativity. Arranging for time in our children’s schedule to express their artistic skills and talents by painting, dancing or acting is an excellent way to honor their spirit. The child’s sense of wonder is an enormous part of their spiritual experience in the early years. Looking at the world through a child’s perspective is a wonderful way to develop your own sense of reverence and appreciation for your child. Following an ant as it navigates its way back to its colony, admiring the detail of a dew soaked spider’s web or collecting fallen leaves to make a bouquet are all ways that children explore their world. As adults we can try to have these experiences as if it is our first time as well, taking the time to share in the excitement of the child. As educators and parents, as communities and nations, we must ensure that material education is complemented with character education, so that the child’s human qualities such as love, justice, responsibility and service also find an opportunity to develop and flourish. These human virtues are the most important elements for our children’s success in their academic endeavors, future career and family life. They are also the surest foundation for building a better world. Take the time to guide your children, helping them to unlock their true nobility. By Terrence Millie, Vice Principal of The Family Learning House More information about honoring the spirit of childhood can be found in “The Family Virtues Guide” by Linda Kavelin Popov. Virtues Companioning-A Virtues Approach to Counseling Children One of the most important ways to build character is to support a child’s capacity to make moral choices. Companioning is a way parents can support children in discovering their own wisdom and using it to work through their feelings. A virtues approach to counseling helps a child to do their own spiritual work rather than doing it for them. Parents often react to a child’s concern by offering advice, giving a quick and easy fix to the problem. Parent’s will notice however, that children are not receptive to this kind of “preaching” which often leaves them feeling ashamed of the feelings they are experiencing. It is much more useful for children to apply their own wisdom to find a solution to their feelings and make their own moral choices. Virtues companioning is a way to witness what a child is feeling without acting on a need to fix it. It is not a time to bring in one’s own feelings or to take on the child’s. There is a big difference between sympathy, empathy and companioning. Sympathy is when you feel sorry for someone; while empathy is when you can feel his or her feelings. The key to companioning is bringing compassion and detachment so that you can walk along with others without taking on the responsibility of their feelings. There are seven facets that sometimes serve as steps in the process of spiritual companioning. 1. Open the door. The magic questions you can ask are what or how. For example you can ask a child “What happened?” and “How did that make you feel?” encouraging children to talk about their experience. Avoid questions that begin with who, where, and why as they will set you up to judge the situation, rather than to support what the child is feeling. 2. Offer Receptive Silence. Do not rush in to offer your own anecdotes, solutions or advice. Simply remain open to the things that your child wants to talk about. Receptive silence is a respectful way to give others the space in which to speak fully, giving the whole story without interruption. 3. Ask cup-emptying questions. Again, use open ended questions that begin with what, how and when and listen to the responses in a non-judgmental way that expresses your curiosity about the situation. Good cup-emptying questions can be general such as “How did that make you feel?” or they can be more specific to what a person has just expressed. 4. Focus on sensory cues. If something arises that involves the senses in some way try to zero in on it. For example if a child is describing a terrible nightmare that they have just had about a giant monster with pointy teeth, you can ask “What were those teeth like?” This will open the door so that the child can release and discharge her fear. 5. Ask virtues reflection questions. When it seems like your child has finished emptying her cup, always give a little extra time in silence to think and make sure there is nothing else to say. The truth in a situation can often be found right at the bottom of the cup. Your goal at this point is to help her to decide how she is going to act in response to her feelings. You might say “It takes a lot of courage to deal with scary dreams. What can you do that will help you to sleep better?” Children will come up with very creative solutions when given a virtues based reference to guide them. 6. Ask closure questions. Closure questions are a way to weave the teachable moments of the experience into the total experience – combining thinking and feeling - the cohesion of head and heart. Use questions such as “What is clearer to you now?” or “what has been helpful about talking about this?” 7. Offer a virtues acknowledgement. Always end by acknowledging your child’s use of the virtues, restoring a sense of dignity to the situation. For example “I see your courage. It is difficult to face your fears when you wake up from a bad dream.” The most powerful virtues acknowledgements are very specific and relevant to the situation. When they ring true, they help to mend the soul. Parents should never encourage children to skip their feelings; they should allow children to experience feelings and to deal with them. After all, every child has the right to be seen, to be heard and to be taken seriously.
By Terrence Millie, Vice Principal of The Family Learning House More information about Virtues Companioning can be found in “The Family Virtues Guide” by Linda Kavelin Popov
Developing Courage in Children A couple of years ago, one morning I discovered that my four year old had developed an abscess on her gum and required serious dental treatment. It was easy to take her to sit on the chair at the dentist’s, but to get her to consent to the treatment and cooperate with the dentist turned out to be quite an ordeal. One thing we talked a lot about during that difficult hour at the dentist’s was the need for courage. We even chanted “courage, courage, courage” together. Eventually she overcame her fear and consented to open her mouth for the treatment. On the way home, we talked briefly about how wonderful it was that she had shown courage. On her follow up visit, I could not be there and she had to go with her father. When I joined them afterwards, I asked her about the treatment. With an obvious joy and pride in her eyes, my daughter’s first sentence was: “Mommy I had so much courage! I sat in the chair and kept my mouth open for the dentist. Now my tooth is all well!” We have all witnessed moments of nervous hesitation in our children before taking a brave new step. Coming down a big slide for the first time, going on the stage, taking a piano examination, trying a new sport are all instances where the child may feel great fear. At these times, it is not helpful to belittle his fear by saying “It is easy.”, “No big deal.” or “Don’t be a little baby.” Instead we can recognize these occasions as precious opportunities for children to learn about courage. Courage is not the absence of fear but the quality that helps us rise above it. Helping children call on and practice their courage in times of fear, develops their strength in this virtue. Once the child has overcome his fear, we can further nurture his courage by acknowledging it: “It took a lot of courage to let go and slide down. Good for you!” Acknowledgement of a virtue helps the child realize her own strength of character and builds her self-esteem. The next time she is faced with fear, she can draw upon this inner strength to overcome her fear. The same virtue of courage which helped her come down the slide or go on the stage will help her tell the truth or take responsibility for her mistake even when she fears the consequence. Other practical ideas to develop courage in children:
The following is a simple story about courage taken from the ‘Virtues in Us’ Character Education Curriculum. Julia and her parents were invited to her Aunt Christina’s birthday party. There were many guests there. After dinner, her aunt came over to Julia, held her hand gently and said: “Your mom told me you are learning piano. Would you play a piece for us please?” Julia looked at her parents with anxiety. She had never played the piano in front of so many people. When she saw her parents’ encouraging eyes, she gathered all her courage and replied politely: “Sure, I will try my best.” At first Julia’s hands were shaking, but soon they moved smoothly on the piano keys. When she finished everyone clapped for her. Her courage had helped her overcome her fear and she felt very happy inside. By
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